Epicurean's Answer

New Year is shit: Fancy dress parties, drunk people trying to hug you, public transport closed down, overpriced entry to places you normally wouldn’t dream of going to. Just shit. The only silver lining to this cloud of enforced fun comes from the foil surrounding that Cadbury’s perennial – the Crème Egg. For just three […]

  You can never have too many condiments There has been an explosion in the sauce aisle (not literally, well not since my mum dropped that massive glass bottle of ketchup in Wolverhampton Sainsbury’s in 1984) – with a kaleidoscope of shapes, colours and flavours proliferating the shelves. There is a tomato, BBQ or chilli […]

McDonald’s has fallen on relatively hard times recently.  Sales in the US are down and the UK middle classes are flocking to overpriced burger chains such as Byron – where they mistakenly think paying more means they’re getting better burger. Its banker is the McRib. This sporadically appearing pork-based patty has somewhat of a cult following […]

  I love Heinz Tomato Sauce, I make no bones about it. I have dipped my chips in many others and none have hit the spot like Heinz. One of the reasons my love affair with this particular condiment endures is the bottle, they know what works and stick with it. Whilst it may not […]

Occasionally I answer someone’s question with a fact I know to be true, only for them to cock an eyebrow at me, as if to say ‘Well that’s what you think – but can you put meat onto those opinion bones so I can actually believe you’. So when some asked me what the best Jaffa […]

1. Greggs I love puff pastry and will eat pretty much anything if it’s wrapped in this flaky duvet of calorific joy. Greggs, with its myriad pastry wares, should be my snacking Shangri-la – but it’s not. Its overpriced steak bakes fail to hit the spot and its signature sausage rolls are salty, pastry heavy, […]

You’re not sure of what you want, but you know you want something. Before you a cascading wall of myriad jewels  – the confectionary section. That bar? That bag? Which do you choose?  ‘Wait a minute I haven’t had one of those for ages,’ you say to yourself, ‘I wonder why?’ Only when you’ve finished do […]

In the last year there have various incarnations of a piece penned on the subject of food critics – with a mind to one day making it more palatable, removing the bitterness and replacing with a sabayon of warm wit. But something has happened to make me reassess my musings – I have discovered the […]

It’s that time of year when the cake lover’s mind turns to all things Tunis. When scouring the supermarket shelves for that seemingly endangered species of chocolate-topped madeira becomes second nature. Tesco, M&S, Sainsbury’s and Waitrose have all dipped their toes into the Tunis Cake waters this year – and whilst I doff my cap […]

The thing about it is, I love a Twix and if I’m honest I’m a massive fan of Mars, despite their chocolate not being the best and their obsession in putting peanuts in everything ­– but a conversation with my sister brought something to my attention. “Have you seen the Twix has got smaller?” she […]

I have a solution for Europe’s economic problems – a big claim I know, but bear with me – the answer in getting money, jobs and prosperity back into these stalling nations is food and drink. Europe has some amazing products with decades of heritage, and because of this they are overlooked – taken for […]

It all started well over a year ago, when a work colleague brought in Oreos to share with the office. A lovely gesture, from a lovely person of whom I hold in high regard. The person, not the Oreos. I have a huge problem with Oreos – they are an invasive species of biscuit, wonderful […]

We have known each other for so long now, I feel able to be frank with you, knowing that you will take this in the spirit it is intended. In our time together you have taught me so much – it’s down to you that I know I don’t like coloured puffed rice – even […]

It’s my dream to take a peek behind the confectioner’s curtain and let light in upon the magic of how Britain’s chocolate bars are made. How do they get Maltesers so round? What is that in a Milky Way? Do they make one continuous Curly Wurly and cut it into pieces or are they all […]

  With no sign of the magical McVities red box, the supermarkets are filling the Tunis Cake gap once more. 2012 sees offerings from Tesco, Sainsbury’s, Morrisons, M&S and Waitrose – all slightly different, but reassuringly familiar. I decided to compare and contrast this year’s efforts. Sadly, despite claims of offering theirs on in store […]

Ice lollies holds a special place in most people’s childhoods, they are tied into holidays, treats and sunny days – but they are also the most transient of treats. The briefest of research reveals the hundreds of names that have since melted away – Funny Faces, Funny Feet, Rock Around The Choc, Haunted House, Cider […]

Messing with perfection is a tricky business at the best of times, but when you’re playing with people’s favourite brands you run the risk of ruining years of food magic. That, of course, doesn’t stop multinationals exploiting the heritage of brands by constantly introducing new variations. Some are good and others not so, but I […]

The word meat is a funny thing – a generic term used to describe the flesh of myriad animals. It is loaded with economic and ethical connotations, with questions of sustainability over the intensive farming methods of the west. But there is so much more to meat than feedlot beef, crated pork and beak-trimmed chicken. […]

McDonalds Australia made a profit of over $260 million last year. You’d have thought they’d have spent some of that cash employing somebody to come up with some good ideas for their 2012 Olympic promotion. Apparently they didn’t. The most disturbing part is everyone knows when the Olympics are, (McDs are an official partner after […]

A colleague was recently regaling me with an example of her twin sister’s naivety. This particular girl didn’t believe seahorses existed in reality, convinced they belonged in the pantheon of mythical beasts, alongside unicorns and Pegasus. Imagine her utter confusion and delight when seeing them for the first time at an aquarium? Can you imagine […]