Cadbury’s is telling me “Fuck off Grandad”

Cadbury's amaze bites

Apparently I am too old for the nations favourite chocolate maker – someone pass me a Werther’s Original!


I love Heinz Tomato Sauce, I make no bones about it. I have dipped my chips in many others and none have hit the spot like Heinz.

One of the reasons my love affair with this particular condiment endures is the bottle, they know what works and stick with it. Whilst it may not be the exact same label or bottle design that graced the dining table in my youth, the tweaks have been subtle and delightful enough to carry me along believing it is. I even embraced the squeezy upside down version because I could feel their hand holding mine through this gargantuan change.

I like my brands to reassure me through any changes, but Cadbury’s youthful repositioning seems to be telling me to “Fuck off grandad, you’re way too old for this – can’t you tell by our funky brand extensions we’re not for you any more!”

Gone are the days of the reassurance of familiarity – we have now entered an age where always having a new product in a range is the benchmark for success.

I had an inkling I was slipping from their demographic when Mondelez started to cannibalise their own brands – Dairy Milk with Oreos etc, but my suspicions were confirmed with the release of their (OMG! THESE ARE) AMAZE BITES.

I now know Cadbury’s have chosen their path and good luck to them, but if they had looked around the corner they would have seen BBC Radio1 trying to bathe in the same ever-evaporating pool of youth. Trying to stay on trend is hard enough even for a 14yo with a handful of Primark vouchers, but for a multi-national brand it’s just embarrassing.

So Mondelez please stop with the brand extensions – I know you think it makes Cadbury’s funky and up-to-date, but it doesn’t. It just makes us sad and trust Cadbury’s a little less.