Epicurean's Answer

Articles filed under ‘Chings & Stüss’

The best Jaffa cake is…

Monday, August 31st, 2015

Occasionally I answer someone’s question with a fact I know to be true, only for them to cock an eyebrow at me, as if to say ‘Well that’s what you think – but can you put meat onto those opinion bones so I can actually believe you’. So when some asked me what the best Jaffa […]

Crossing the food review Rubicon

Sunday, December 15th, 2013

In the last year there have various incarnations of a piece penned on the subject of food critics – with a mind to one day making it more palatable, removing the bitterness and replacing with a sabayon of warm wit. But something has happened to make me reassess my musings – I have discovered the […]

Revel Revel (your bag is a mess)

Sunday, January 13th, 2013

It’s my dream to take a peek behind the confectioner’s curtain and let light in upon the magic of how Britain’s chocolate bars are made. How do they get Maltesers so round? What is that in a Milky Way? Do they make one continuous Curly Wurly and cut it into pieces or are they all […]

The butchers table

Thursday, August 2nd, 2012

The word meat is a funny thing – a generic term used to describe the flesh of myriad animals. It is loaded with economic and ethical connotations, with questions of sustainability over the intensive farming methods of the west. But there is so much more to meat than feedlot beef, crated pork and beak-trimmed chicken. […]

Elemental biscuits

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

Biscuits are elemental in our lives. They are the quiet markers of time, defining our ever changing tastes and ascent to adulthood. They are worthy of not just the odd misty-eyed recollection, but a discreetly ordered table – defining the deliciously crumbly boundaries between their baked brethren. Click on the picture to enlarge so you […]

Saving the world by eating biscuits

Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

Greece are set to be bailed out to the tune £120 billion again, from the EU and the International Monetary Fund, having had a similar amount poured into their coffers last year. Whilst the economists and financiers may accuse inflation and pension funds, they are not to blame. We are. Biscuit shoppers everywhere have let […]


Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

Hollywood loves a sequel. The cash-cows of popular franchises can be milked for decades! Who’d have thought you could squeeze a single film out of Big Mama’s House, let alone two follow ups?! So with the world admiring RPatz in his latest outing Water for Elephants I got to thinking about wringing some more cash […]

Food snobs

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

I remember a time when they were only three television channels. Saturday would role round and the airwaves would drip with sport, Grandstand vied with ITV’s World of Sport, in bringing the British Public the most obscure sports they could handle (parallel bars anyone?) But there was an oasis that I ran to. Every Saturday […]

Thou Shalt Always Cook

Friday, April 23rd, 2010

I love food and I love music. I couldn’t resist reinterpreting Thou Shalt Always Kill by the brilliant Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip, into a food rant. Play the video, listen to the words, chuckle, play it again whilst reading my words, chuckle some more. That Shalt Always Cook Thou shalt not microwave baked […]

The Food Party manifesto

Friday, April 9th, 2010

For the past 50 years the main political parties have taken food for granted, allowing our weekly shop to go from locally grown, natural food to become air freighted and processed beyond recognition. They have all put issues, which create sound bites, above issues that create bites which are sound, nourishing generations to come. Gone […]

Tescollapalooza 2010

Sunday, March 21st, 2010

Tesco – the harbinger of high street doom, or the panacea of Britain’s shopping woes? Their name alone invokes some passionate emotions, if you immerse yourself in the blogs and writing of ‘foodies’, you would readily surmise that the Essex-based, grocery behemoth was responsible for everything that is wrong with the English attitude to food. […]

Chemistry meets cookery

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

Click on the image to download the pdf (or open in your browser, depending on which one you’re using). Go on, it’s worth it. Contained within the pdf are links, just in case you need to remind yourself.

The Syrup of Shame & The Water of Disappointment.

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Every time I cross the threshold of Asda, no matter what is on the list, I come out feeling angry, stressed and ever so slightly bewildered. It may not be instantaneous, but it will happen – this time was no exception. Being no stranger to the store, I prepare, steeling myself for the limited varieties […]


Monday, November 23rd, 2009

Sometimes you can struggle to recall the first time something happened and on other occasions, it can have an unparalleled clarity. Usually, with me, if food is involved, it’s the latter. I can recall the first time I tried pizza, a cheese and tomato monstrosity at Codsall Middle School, Instant noodles – Tom’s house, Diet […]

I’d love to eat out… but…

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

I have a confession to make. I have fallen out of love with food. It’s a horrible feeling, but I know who to blame, or rather what to blame – New York. I recently visited New York and viewing it through food loving eyes, I was struck by something that I’d never noticed before. There […]

Serial cereal scam

Friday, October 2nd, 2009

The first time you are conscious of being seduced it fills you with strange emotions. You know you are being used, but that realisation doesn’t detract from the pleasure of the moment, although the dirty feelings crystalised by hindsight have left me with a sense of guilt that I can’t rid myself of. My first […]

The life of a currant

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

I bought a pack of Garibaldi biscuits the other day, put it down to nostalgia if you want, but I like the buggers. I sat with a cup of Clipper Organic Earl Gray, munching on these jewel studded cardboard treasures, wondering if life could get any better. Casting my eye toward the packet – ignoring the […]

Food is the new rock and roll

Thursday, September 24th, 2009

“We are a nation of voyeurs. We love Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson in our millions, but we leave them on our coffee tables. We watch them but we don’t always learn from them,” Tom Parker Bowles, critic and author. I never thought I’d agree with Tom Parker Bowles, but he is right. Britain lost […]

4 Ingredients + 2 Queenslanders = culinary wasteland

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

4 Ingredients is, according to the blurb, the number one bestselling book in Australia. It was written by two Queensland mums who hit upon the idea that there are thousands of people who would want a cook book which would reduce all their family meals to just four ingredients. Think of the timesaving! Think of […]

Photos of London

Sunday, August 23rd, 2009

Our capital is a gastronomical gold mine, full of  amazing chefs, producing sumptuous dishes in stunning restaurants. It is also a massive, sprawling conurbation, whose inhabitance move ghost-like through it – their only trace, the detritus they leave behind.  This is what I like to immortalise in pixels, as found.